Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Submission & Dominance


When I first began as a PSO, I thought of myself as a submissive. I enjoyed the thought of a man being in charge, taking control of me, ravaging me. Maybe it’s because at the beginning I was still new and a bit nervous and shy. Though, you may not notice it when I talk to you, I still do get slightly nervous for some calls.
The thought of being dominant and controlling another man was just too much to think about the first few weeks. Though, I did enjoy the fantasy in my mind, I was not sure how to execute my ideas. I have watched a lot of BDSM porn and I am familiar with submissives, so why this was so difficult confused me. Plus, in my everyday life, I tend to be the dominant, outspoken, confident female.
Within the first few weeks, I mostly played the role of a submissive. Sometimes, the calls were more mutual and there was no defined leader like in roleplay scenarios. A few things turned me towards wanting to play a more dominant role.
First off, certain situations that the more dominant males put me in with our phone conversations started bringing out the bitch in me. I can only be someone’s slut and whore for so long until I want to return the favor to someone else.  Second, too many guys began wasting my time with their chatting and nonsense. I was way too virgin at being a PSO. Realizing how much time I had wasted chatting online with guys who were not going to call really brought out a certain annoyance towards my kindness and submission. And last, with both of these reasons and a lot of submissive men, I began enjoying the thought of making them my slut, my whore, or causing them a bit of torture per say.
I still like being submissive on occasion, but I am definitely getting used to the dominant roles men wish me to play. I can admit I am still a bit amateur, but I am sure everyone has to start somewhere.